[nascar quotes]

A collection of my favorite quotes and favorite radio conversations (usually Dale Jr)...

"How do the gauges look?" - Jeff Clark (engine tuner for the Bud team, asking about the oil and water temperatures under the long caution period)
"Nice. They're silver and they all have nice little red needles…" - Dale Earnhardt, Jr

"Every one of these drivers in the garage area, I can speak to because they all speak English, with the exception of Ward Burton. He speaks whatever he speaks. He speaks Ward." -- Tony Stewart about the difference in racing on the IRL circuit and the WC circuit

"You would not believe how loose this car is for two laps after the green. Then, just like that, it's back to how it was before. But, those first few laps, damn, it's loose! JUNIOR NO LIKEY!" - Dale Earnhardt, Jr, trying to refocus on the restart of a race

"We go six times faster." — NASCAR CEO William C. France, when asked why deaths in auto racing were six times more common than deaths in football.

"There's some sorta big bar-be-que goin' on here in turn three. There's smoke all over the track! Some fan's got a big one goin' on." - Dale Earnhardt Jr. remains observant of his surroundings beyond the race track while traveling at 190 mph

"I think when you look at our team, you have to say that the weak point is probably still the driver." — Tony Stewart

"Dirt. Smoke. Dust. I don’t know what happened." — Stacy Compton, after a 19-car pile-up at Daytona.

"Sandstorm! Turn Two! Sandstorm!" - Dale Earnhardt, Jr, complaining about the track crew using too much of the powdery oil-dry to clean up an accident

"When Dale Earnhardt first called me, on the phone he was pretty nice, so naturally I was somewhat skeptical." — Steve Park, recalling the day he was hired by Earnhardt.

"I got wrecked racing for last. That’s Bristol." — Todd Bodine

"I felt like the track came to us, but then it went beyond us." — Dale Earnhardt Jr., on California Speedway

"The track is two drag strips hooked up by a couple of paper clips." — Joe Nemechek, describing Martinsville.

"Good job, man. Did you see that one, Junior?" - Ty Norris (spotter)
"Yeah. They just showed it on the Jumbotron." (Referring to the gigantic video screen on the inside of turns three and four.) - Dale Earnhardt Jr

"We’re having chassis, aero and motor problems. Other than that, things are great." — Ward Burton, at Kansas.

"Alright, we checked ya out, and you look to be alright. You will still be able to have kids." - NASCAR doctor after a post-crash examination
"Just not tonight." - Dale Earnhardt, Jr

"You won’t see me running in the back." — Kevin Harvick
"You’ll be in the back, all right. You just won’t go back there on purpose." — Bobby Hamilton, sitting next to Harvick in the Talladega media center.

"I usually just get up off the couch and just go." — Kyle Petty, asked what happens when he has to use the bathroom during a race (Petty failed to qualify for 12 races).

"Find me a safe place where I can spin out!" -- Dale Earnhardt Jr (only partially kidding), pleading for help from his team as he battles an ill-handling car.

"C'mon Ty! I can't hear ya buddy! You're real faint!" (pause… then returns to the mic, somewhat chagrined) "OK, try it again. I think I'll hear ya better now that my earplug's in right. It was undone there for a bit…" - Dale Earnhardt Jr scolding his spotter, Ty Norris, before realizing the problem might be his own.

"The car drives really really good so far. No changes on the next pit stop. It's great, I can hold it down right along the bottom here in the corners… I'm just ridin' around out here… just waiting until later to make a move…" -- Dale Earnhardt Jr. Because of rain, the Charlotte race started several hours later than scheduled, and caused NASCAR to start the race under the yellow flag, allowing the cars to dry the track with their hot exhaust. On the third lap under the slow conditions, Dale Jr. reported on his race car while traveling approximately 60 mph.

"I don't think I can adequately express my feelings about the car on national radio, but hopefully we'll get better and I'll be happier later on…" -- Dale Earnhardt Jr, being radioed a few questions by the PRN about his car during a yellow flag period

"I guess those guys are going to lose to a guy driving a pink racecar." - Jimmie Johnson, trying to look on the bright side of drawing the pink IROC car (despite his valiant attempt NOT to such a girly coloured car).

"Well, he lived in the northern end of the house and I lived in the southern end." - Ward Burton on how he and brother, Jeff have such different accents.

"I can't, damnit, I don't speak freaking Japanese!" - Ty Norris, responding to Dale Jr's request to ask Fukuyama to move down for him

"Drivers are pretty well set, but crew chiefs, they change their business cards like they change their pants." - Chad Knaus, on the parity of Winston Cup crew chief